


The HalfBlood Prince

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: After Dumbledore’s death, Dark, F/M, Final Battle, M/M, Mental Illness, Not Severus (character death), PTSD, Slash, Some of the events of deathly hallows, Sort of happy ending, Suicide Attempt, mostly canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: When Severus learned that the boy who lived would be the boy who lived to die, he hated the fact. Harry Bloodly Potter was to him Lily’s son.But, when he learned that he too was to die he felt nothing but peace.Things don’t always go as planned, though.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 44





	The HalfBlood Prince

**Author's Note:**

> A quickly put together one shot for Severus Snape’s birthday. 
> 
> Mostly due to the fact my not yet posted WIP is not yet ready.
> 
> So, I give you a rather dark possible look into the mind of Severus Snape, and all the pitfalls of such a mind.

Death. It was something that had been Severus 's companion since he was a child. He had wanted it like some people wanted to fall in love or see the world. He wanted death’s sweet embrace.Lily had been like a balm numbing the wound and pacifying the desire. But, with her gone, he had been looking for it again.

Dumbledore had put a halt to it then. The man reminded him about her son, Harry Bloody Potter, the boy who lived. More likely, the boy who had simply gotten lucky.He was caught red-handed, silver knife clutched between his fingers. The headmaster’s face as white as bone.

Within a second it was across the room with a silent spell. The heavy clatter it made as it hit the stone floor filled his ears. His escape was gone in a flash of magic.

Dumbledore said to him, ”You have more important things to do in this moment than dying, Severus, just as I do.” Hatred and dislike filled the man’s blue eyes. Lily had only been dead for six months today, and he knew the headmaster still didn't fully trust him whether or not he would admit it.

Dumbledore was a battle-hardened wizard, defeater of Grindelwald, that meant he was far more wary than he would ever let on to. But, unlike the rest of the wizarding world, Severus Tobias Snape was no fool. He could see the writing on the wall, at the time.

Over the years, the two had grown to trust each other, some might say they even had become friends. Well, Dumbledore would say that they had become friends. Severus no longer believed in such foolish things. Friends were for fool-hearted Gryffindors who wore their hearts on their sleeves. It was for the Remus Lupins of the world. The man who shattered his heart into a million pieces, when they were just teenagers.

Lily Evans had not been the person to destroy him, she did not earn that honor, it was Lupin. Lily just simply made sure that it stuck. That when someone tried to get close he would see it as an attack. That the best thing he could do was to never let another person in. The best form of protection was to never let someone in, in the first place.

When Dumbledore told him that he was waiting for the night time for Potter to die, it angered him. How dare the man? He had no right to decide who lives and who dies. The man was no God. He was no king. He was simply a mere man. The boy was just that a boy. And he was Lily’s son. He was the only piece of her that was still alive.

But, unlike anyone who was truly sane, when Severus learned of the steps he would take to his own untimely demise, he only felt nothing but relief. He would finally no longer have to suffer. That would be Dumbledore’s last gift to Severus, saying his service was done and he could finally fall into the arms of death.

Severus felt as if he was an old soldier who had seen a lifetime of battles, and finally, he had reached his homeland. But, for him, there was no homeland. There was no wife waiting to hold him once again. There was no son he had not seen in what felt like a lifetime. There was no father who wanted to see him before his last breath. There was no mother who had been worried sick.

Severus Snape had no one. He would die likely as he had lived, alone. He would die a traitor’s death. In his actions, he would turncoat on the death eaters. But, he had to for all to fall into place be considered a traitor to the light. He had one last position at Hogwarts he had to take after Dumbledore’s death.

He had to become Headmaster.

He had never wanted to be a professor, let alone a headmaster and yet here he was entering Dumbledore’s office. He did not want to change anything. Even with knowing he had been the man’s killer. No, that was not true. Dumbledore may have made him wield the wand that did the killing, but the man may as well of jumped off the tower.

It was a suicide. No that was not correct. Muggles used the term for someone helping a terminal patient take their own life, assisted suicide. And that term fits this situation quite well.

One day soon, someone else would be headmaster, and this would become their office. He would simply think it was their office now. He was just borrowing it until they were ready to take their post.

************************

For decades Severus had thought the worst part of teaching, was the students, but the Carrows made him eat those words. They were insane. No better yet they were deranged. The whole wizarding world had lost its bloody fucking mind. To think, as a teenager he had wanted this.

He was a bigger fool than Sirius Black had ever been, all those years ago. Sometimes it felt like someone else had done those things. That he and the Severus who had been a death eater we're simply two separate people, who happened to have lived at different times in the same body.

He had to get that sword to Potter, the right sword.He had a plan in place he just needed to act on it.

************************

Severus Snape had served his purpose, he had given his memories to Potter, the boy like him would soon be dead. His heart of stone broke for the boy who would never become a man. Lily’s son, would soon be dead. For the greater good, for the greater good could burn in bloody fucking hell!

He could do nothing to stop it, he could do nothing at all. He was dying and soon he would be dead. A traitor’s death, in this wretched shack. If he had a choice in the matter he would choose to die anywhere else. Anywhere else.

This place was what sprung the thing that caused him to lose Remus. To lose the man who had been one of the few people who actually seemed to care about him. 

But then he saw him, the man was like a ghost, like a dream maybe it was an angel. But it could not be people like him who did what he had done did not go to heaven. It must be a demon, but at least it was a handsome demon. It had warm tanned skin, sandy blonde hair and it felt so warm. He was so cold now, he could barely hear what the beautiful creature was saying.

The demon shouted, ”Stay with me, Severus!”

Why in the world did this demon sound like Remus? And then there was only silence and darkness.

************************

Severus felt as if his throat was on fire, but at least he was alive. Remus Lupin found him during the battle and saved him. At first, it was just so the man had to face justice. Then it became after Harry had informed them of Severus’s own memories, that he was on their side. Something that was of great relief.

He refused to go to St Mungo's not trusting even with Potter’s world, someone may it be healer or other try to do away with him there. Here at Hogwarts, he was as he had always been, safe, relatively at least.

Remus sat by his bedside for hours. Holding his glass as he took small sips through a straw. Patting his back through the coughing, covering him with more blankets through the chills, and removing them when he became fevered.

The man spoke little to him, but he was always there. Slept in the chair right next to Severus’s hospital bed. No one dared to force the war hero to leave. The werewolf, had that dangerous air about him, even if he rarely ever showed it.

Severus could not speak, having had his throat nearly ripped out would do that to someone.

But when he could hold a pen and paper he wrote a note to him, I finally want to live Remus after all this time I want to live. I want a life and I want a life with you. Please, can we try again?

Remus kissed his sweat-soaked black hair and said, “Severus that’s all I want in this world, is a chance, a chance to start again anew, with you.”

So the man who spent his whole life wanting to die, finally for once wanted to live, and he did with a man who had saved his life in what he believed to be his end.


End file.
